


Learned From The Best

by NowThatsDedication



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Erebor, there's a good ending i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6385954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowThatsDedication/pseuds/NowThatsDedication
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili engage in the greatest, most dangerous battle of all time...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learned From The Best

Fíli crouched down low behind the stone pillars and held his breath; a single movement would draw attention. And that was not an option, when so much was depending on this mission. He reached for his weapon and exhaled. It was now or never.

A form crept up behind him, sudden and unexpected. When he turned to confront it, he was met with a sneer and a harsh blow to his face. He reached for his stinging cheek. Red warmth ran through his fingers. He had been defeated.

“Kíli! That _hurt_!”

His brother nearly toppled over in uproarious laughter, clutching his stomach and an armful of tomatoes. Fíli ran toward him, full charge.

“Oh, shi-” Kíli grabbed for another projectile but it was too late. Fíli tackled him to the ground.

“Get off of me, you idiot!”

“You broke the rules! You weren't allowed to do that, you sneaky little…”

“Don’t! No, no!”

Fíli smashed a tomato into the side of Kíli’s head. It was satisfying and he cackled with childish glee.

“Not in my ear!”

“How do you like it now, huh?”

“Fíli! Kíli!” Thorin stormed in, furious. Which was not unusual, but he seemed particularly annoyed.

“I cannot attend to my work with your nonsense and noise. This is not how princes conduct themselves!”

They rose in unison and wiped gooey chunks from their hair.

“Sorry.”

“We were just playing a game.”

“A game? I believe you are much too old for games. And you know better than to waste the food supply of the kingdom.” Thorin shook his head, “I expect this to be cleaned up immediately.”

“What is all commotion about?” Her voice entered the room before she did. She found her two sons, covered in tomatoes and guilt, and her scowling brother engaged in stern lecture.

“Dís, tell your _children_ to behave.”

“We were only having a friendly competition, ma,” Kíli whined.

“I didn't know princes of Erebor were not allowed to have fun,” Fíli pouted.

“Of course they can,” she sighed. But, my boys, I'm going to have to teach you a lesson.”

They both groaned.

“Because you can't run around this place throwing food like that.” She picked up one of the stray tomatoes and inspected it.

“You have to throw it properly, like this!” Dis flung it toward Thorin with a vicious force. It hit his chest and exploded onto his regal attire.

Fíli and Kíli gasped; they would never dream of doing that to their uncle. They enjoyed living too much to try it.

Thorin stared down at the stain in shock. The silence was broken by his sister’s hearty giggles.

“You seem to forget the mischief I can get into. I am here to reclaim my title as the Terror of Erebor!”

“I know where they get it from,” Thorin grumbled.

“Kíli, she has us beat!”

“She's brutal...and brave, too. We can learn a lot from our dear mother.”

They joined in on the laughter. Thorin stood stone-faced until a small smile crept in he and threw up his hands.

“There's no hope for the line of Durin. Bunch of troublemakers.” 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr


End file.
